Got Soy?!?

I was cleaning out the freezer yesterday and I came across SOY ice cream. Yes you heard me right.....I said SOY ice cream. It came at the perfect time since it reminded me of my brother-in-law Greg who purchased this wonderful treat for us last month when he was visiting from CA. Greg and his wonderful girlfriend are departing today for a 2 1/2 month tour of Europe. Christine and I were certain they were going to be on Amazing Race!! Since they will probably be too busy to read this I have no problem stating that we are all hoping they return with some news about their future.

Now back to the SOY!! Greg is a bit of a hippie type, Southern California boy. I can certainly appreciate certain bohemian aspects of life as I lived that life so many years ago, but come on SOY ice cream!!! With my worst case of the munchies in my college days I don't think I could have put that down and you are talking to someone who lived frequently on death dogs and potato logs from the Dairy Mart. It is pretty awful...sorry Greg. I threw out a whole tub of SOY ice cream so the planet was not saved.

So I had to ask myself....."Self," I said, "What is this magical bean that can produce everything?" And of course my good friends at GOOGLE found me the answers I needed. I assumed SOY ice cream had to come from soy mik so I started there. The definition I found of soy milk is "the remaining liquid after soybeans have been crushed in hot water and strained"....sounds yummy.

So then I decided I wanted to know all of the things that can be made from SOY. This reminded me of an old Steve Martin routine about McDonalds making everything from one machine...it went like this:

“I have a theory about McDonalds, and that is that everything they make is all one thing. And in the back, they have this big vat full of this ’stuff,’ and these little molds come by and SCHLURP! Hamburger SCHLURP! Malt SCHLURP! Paper box SCHLURP! Here’s your change.”

Perhaps this list will make my point. Here are the FOOD items made from SOY:

Cereal, Cheese, Chips, Coffee, Creamer, Edamame, Energy bars, Flour, Grits, Ice cream, Meat alternatives (burgers, hotdogs, sausage, bacon), Miso, Pasta, Soy protein powder, Roasted soy nuts, Soy milk (sometimes called soy beverage), Soy nut butter, Smoothies, Soy sauce (teriyaki, tamari, shoyu), Tempeh, Tofu, Vegetable oil, Whipped topping, Yogurt.

Now for the NON-FOOD uses:

Animal feed and pet foods, Candles, Caulk, Cleaning products, Cosmetics, Crayons, Dishwashing liquid, Fire logs, Biodiesel (alternative fuel), Furniture, Furniture polish, Lip balm, Massage oil, Oils for machinery, guns, engines and more, Pond liners, Building insulation, Printing inks, Soaps and shampoos, Socks, Stains, Stain remover, Wood sealer, Yarn.

So basically, the same product that made my ice cream makes caulk, fire logs, and socks!!! Are you kidding me?

I guess SOY has become the "STUFF" since Martin did this routine almost 30 years ago...COMEDY IS NOT PRETTY. God I loved Steve Martin back in the early years....its hard to believe I was 9 years old listening to Steve Martin, Robin Williams, Richard Pryor. Remember the Columbia House record club? I still have all of those albums and casettes. How the world has changed? I can still remember being so excited when the box from Columbia House came in the mail and I ran to the stereo to listen. Now I could have instantly downloaded 100 albums in the time it took me to write this post.

I can only imagine what world my son will live in when he is my age!

My boy, I have so much to teach you....."This is an album...we used to listen to them on a wheel that spun around and then you dropped a needle on it!"

"What is that sound you ask? That is static...we had it tough as kids my son!"