A Lot of Work To Do To Catch Up

My friends Lisa and Tejal harped on me about not continuing my blog and when I logged in today, this is what I found. I must have written this right after Lucian's birth and never posted it but I would be sad if I never expressed these thought so here it is...


Written sometime in June 2008...

The juxtoposition of life and death has never been so apparent to me as it was this past weekend. I spent this past father's day fighting back both tears of joy and tears of sadness. Almost exactly 24 hours after experiencing the absolute beauty of becoming a father for the first time I learned of the passing of one of my best friends, Chuck Schwink.

You can't imagine the emotional roller coaster that the last month has been. As Lucian's due date approached, Chuck's health seemed to decline. I am quite sure that I cried at least once every single day in the month of June. So much happiness and so much joy. And in the midst of all of this I am also running an annual fundraiser for the foundation that I created in memory of my father who passed away only 18 months ago.

I think that is where it all began....this emotional roller coaster ride. You see, in August 2006 Christine and I got engaged. I popped the question about 1/4 mile from my parents house in a spot that had special meaning to me. My father was only the third person to know (after myself and Christine, of course). I can still remember how excited he was. As we planned the wedding and settled on a destination he was so excited to get to be wearing shorts and flip flops for a wedding. He would die only a month later.

I remember so many events leading up to his death that seemed to point to the powers that be that allowed me to spend even more time with him...(we spoke every day but often when I went home I spent a lot of time with friends). The first divine intervention (although a painful one) came about a week before our family was about to go to Hawaii for two weeks. On a short bicycle ride I slipped and broke my arm in a freak accident. There went all of the Hawaiian plans for excursions. But in hindsight it was perfect, Dad and I hung out the entire vacation.

On the last weekend that I ever saw him I had gone in for a WVU football game - which usually meant me being out and about - I got sick and ended up spending most of the weekend hanging out in my parents basement talking to my Dad and watching football together. Looking back, I was never so happy to have an injury or get sick.

The death of my father felt like getting my heart ripped out. My father was my best friend, my mentor, my inspiration. He would miss my wedding, the birth of his grandson, and all the memories yet to come.

The outpouring of kindness, friendship, and true love that was seen at my father's funeral will be with me for my entire life. The tributes and the the thousands of people that came to pay their respect was a testament to the man, the father, the friend, the husband.

My friend Chuck was there and I will never forget one thing that he said to me. I had just introduced him to one of my relatives as my boss and he pulled me aside and told me not to ever introduce him as my boss, that he was my friend first. And that he was. Chuck and I (and often our buddy Craig) shared a lot of memories from the various NACUBO trips we have taken over the last six years. From golfing some of the legendary courses in the country, to enjoying fine wines, to partying on his boat, the memories are many and some of the stories legendary.

And Chuck was there at my wedding, having fun, meeting friends and family from all over the country and always displaying his charm and charisma and the everlasting smile on his face. Little did I expect that upon returning from my honeymoon, three days later Chuck would be diagnosed with cancer....and a year after that he would no longer be with us.

So while I stand here as a new father, two of the people that I would have loved to have had Lucian learn from, laugh with, and love on his own are no longer with us. I know in my heart that they are hanging out together, looking down, maybe getting in a round of golf.....all the while smiling....two great men....two great dads.....two people I loved and miss.